Yeah. :| I knowwww right. Obviously, things are not as what I expected them to be. And I'm starting to feel like living a random carefree life. :| Wait. Yeah I know.. If I was to live my overly boring life, I might be whacking everyone else and being as stupid in decision making as I am, you can't truly enjoy living it. Unless you're ME :) Yeah. Little girl called "ME apparently is a very very optimistic creature. Like I'm enjoying living my no-party kind of life :D and yes, I admit that living this kind of boring life is pretty amazing. Except that sometimes, it gets old and sometimes, trying to take control of living a normal life gets out of hand and it really becomes very sickening. :| Putting the thought of a happy go lucky girl never came into issue as for myself. :) I have a lot of issues.. and I don't really handle them good.. Good enough to be better eh? :)) Oh well. Trying to face matters and being brave has been very old for me. :| But then again, I tried to change.. Change the things a little.. A little of a not-so-much plain old self. :) A change that I never thought would be this hard. :|
Apparently, I have changed a lot.. and whatever happened to taking risks?? is soo not on my check list anymore. :| Perhaps I got tired of all the risk taking.. I never even succeeded.. Maybe halfway.. but never all the way there to the top. I can honestly say that I am already fed up with all the risk taking and it seems to me that it's soo hard taking responsibility.. No good things can be brought with all the hardships.. But yes, It took me like *ZAP*.. and POOOOF!! Risks irritate me like a feather duster.. :| It's like a crazy thing. I can't be crazy.. No. Not forever. Not this time. So now, I don't really take risks.. Rock and Roll is all that matters before? Oh well. being a little different will make it better than this awkward feeling.
i sound like a coward here. Forgive me on this. I can't fail anymore. Oh. That's wrong.. cause as long as I live, I will fail.. but not the kind of like failing because you took so many risks and never learned them :| i don't wanna be all stupid. :| Wondering how things are and trying to like work them out???! it's stupid now. :|
whatever. :|