I was actually thinking of nothing. Really. yeah? haha! I'm just soo bored I can't effing think of anything interesting to write about. Like I'm braindead again or something like that. Again, cos I'm always like that. man. :|
Well, yesterday, i thought of renewing my red streaks and turn em into blue or violet or pink. But I can't find the colors. So there, stuck with my red streaks turned into brown-ish. It's on my tail anyways. It's not really obvious and not jologs perhaps you might think of it as OH-HEY-I-TRIED-A-NEW-HAIR-COLOR-BUT-WAY-TOO-SCARED-TO-COLOR-ALL
-MY-LOCKS thingy-oh! haha! :]] So there, I saw a very cheap nailpaints yesterday @ pastel's botique. It's 20php for God's love. I bought two! I mean, it's really cheap. Both blue&&green pastel paints. I love em.
But I'm not using them till june. :]] Haha!
I painted my nails half black&red., so as you can see (just imagine till I upload the pics) it's soo emily-the-strange-ish Haha! :]] Full of laughter. Wth. :]] :|
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I wanna talk about New life.
Dude, I'm starting a new life here. Since we moved houses, I had been locked with the inner depths of my freakin soul and was way too scared to go out and look for new friends. But I can't be like this forever. It's just that I'm soo scared of changes. yeah. Changes mean a lot to me, Like I was thinking last night, why changes occur in the most petrifying ways that you can't go prepare for it. I was devastated. :|
Yeah? (oh geez. another serious overflow of dramatic post)
I don't get it. Don't tell me Everything happens for a reason. Such cliche. :]]
I know it's true. I knowwwww. I believe it's true too. But I can't understand. You have to let me understand why such things need to happen? Why in the world that it needs to teach you in the most hurtful ways ever. :| I couldn't be more emo but this just sucks. Dramathon every night just ticks me. :| Im pissed off forever for all nights. try to imagine yourself thinking for the possible ways to ever cope up with your drama fest. It is sickening. And please, don't tell me it's up to me. and I bother dealing with dramathons all night. No. You can't ever understand as looong as you think wild enough. Let yourself feel what I feel. FRIENDS MOVING MILE AWAY, FROM HERE TO THERE, TO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES. Moving houses. (not literally moving, hope you get what I mean) Being pressured. College stuffs. The firsts happened this year. And more will soon happen. I know I could never stop this changes. Cos yeah. It's constant. All you have to do is not care much what I really think. Just listen to me. Don't tell me what to say nor what to do cos it just beats the crap out of me and more so, gives me HELL. and that's deep shiit man. You just don't understand. No one would ever understand what I really feel. I don't show much but I hurt morrrrre deep down inside me. It hurtsss. It hurts a lot. I can't figure things out. I can't rely on myself much either cos i feel so dumb. i feel like I'm in hell, living the possible ways to get to heaven, but then before sleeping, random thoughts flow. And it just sucks. I know people can't be happy all the time. But This hurtful? This is so unfair. yeah. For me. But thinking abgout more suffering, thinking of more people dealing with a lot of suffocation life can bring? It helps. It helps me. It makes me feel better. Luck that I haven't been starved, Good education ahead. Nice family, good friends. It makes me feel better. :]
---JUST DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO---
im out. :(