Well, i`am soo friggin bored.
i just got back from batangas. So clearly, I would spend New Year here in manila!
it was good being back here in the CITY. :))
haha.
Well, as for my stay in batangas, it was GREAT.
christmas was super fun fun. and I did enjoy it.

My adventure back home was effing fun *slash* annoying.
My dad and "the" family decided to go to manila for some shopping, and to help me get back here without riding a bus or commuting. :))
so the innova was there. and it was COOL at first. but since, my dad was a total CHEAPSTAKE, he asked us to open the windows and have some "fresh"air soo that we could save sam gasoline. As for the pollution in tagaytay, and the fog,. ack. :( it was depressing.
Imagine 11am the sun shines as in BUHRIGHT!
and it was effing hot.
can`t sleep.

ayun. tinamad na ko.
sudden lack of interest.haha!

wait. here are some SCHOOL pics before the vacation. (:


okaii.visit my multiply. (: so you could view. (:

AFTER a hundred years of non exsistence.
ive decided to open and `update` my furriggin` blog.
(:
soo. i wont tell you stories for the last months.
cos t`was really really rambling.

HOLIDAY SEASON!
oh yeahsss.
i recieved a lot of gifts!

btw, i celebrated Christmas in Batangas!
it was really really really FUN and great and nice. (:
pwahaha!

soo there. i know this is boring.
well, i`ll just paste some of my diary notes.
and i think it was since last september,. i guess.

here it goes..


I feel all subtle and alone. Never serene I guess... I feel very quiet here, Im not depressed.. I just feel nothing?..
I have an ultimate deep obsession with a sushiBOY. haha! Ive never been like this for the past 2years and 6months. I never needed this feeling before, i guess.. i hope this would be the start of another story. :) Teehee. I can't allow a catastrophic distortion on my hollow cave, called heart. I love myself more than before. Disdainity is what i can't afford. I feel the need for someone.. Someone to talk to, someone who'll listen. Someone who'll kill time with me.. Someone with me.. My friends? I know right.. they're not really obliged to listen on my nothingness.. on my sorrowful nonsensial stuffs.. I know. They wont even understand it.
i'll talk about my obssesiveness.

^^
this started last AUGUST. (partly, i mean).. It actually started last SEPTEMBER. :) It was really silly. having friends with a total stranger is FUNNY. I mean, this is not really happening casually or like everytime? This is not common on my part, having to study in a small campus is such a great advantage on my being. :)) haha! Funny i guess. Well, my bestfriend Pam's boyfriend is bestfriends with my CRUSH! You see the point? Kenneth(pam's bf) is bestfriends with kyxarie(my crush).. Soo kenneth and I are close enough to let kyxa and me txt each other. It was very LAME-OH! haha!! Cos it's such a jologs stuff to do. Alright then,...
Kyxa and Me would constantly text each other.. It has been habitual for the both of us.. and for the occasional and unexpected phonecalls.... we got really close. hehe. That's just it. but the lame and true blue sick part of this is.. HE HASN'T TEXTE NOR CALL ME FOR THE PAST 3DAYS NOW! and it's such a big sucker. HE IS MY PROSPECT. faxtard. :(
^^

I feel nothing. I just feel OKAY. this is not the ideal feeling. I know it when i feel it. I know when something's missing. GETS?

Hi! Kung ikaw man ang nagbabasa nito, HI sayo, at dun sa nagbabasa pero hindi maintindihan?! haha!! Hi nalang din sayo! :)
uhhhm. panu ba kasi sisimulan toh? hindi ko alam, kase hindi mo naman ako naririnig. (kung sinu ka man)
you might like, get me wrong?. but im all cool here. chill lang. :)
ayon. uhm. eeh kase dapat talaga harapharapan toh. kaya lang DUHHH diba? baka MAGFEELING ka lang eh. :)) haha! anyway, mahaba yata tohng intro na toh. pero sana yung taong DAPAT lang magbasa yung nagbabasa nito. ayoko naman imessage dahil "PA-MYSTERY" efek pa ko haha! :) basta. lamu na kung sinu ka. :)



gusto mo magexplain ako?
ocge. eto na.
dito ko mageexplain. isang beses lang toh, at kung hindi mo pa toh makita, sorry nalang.
una. HINDI KO ALAM YUNG NARARAMDAMAN mo. kung anu man yun. dahil HINDI MO SINASABI. diba? kaya siguro tayo nagkaganito. wag mong isiping nanghihinayang ako DAHIL HINDI. dahil walang dapat panghinayangan. nakakainis lang talaga at nakakaasar. masaya na sana noh? pero biglang *CHACHING* nawala ang magic. ewan ko sayo kung bakit nawala yun dahil di ko naman alam kung meron nga,. sabi nila MERON. pero wala ka namang sinabi sakin. kaya ayon.
wag mo ring isiping nagagalit ako dahil HINDI.
siguro naaasar lang ako. pero yun lang yon.
wala ka namang sinabi sakin eh. syempre tao din ako, nasasaktan at pasensya na kung manhid ako dahil hindi ko naramdaman. ayon. sorrrryyyyy.
tanga ko eh.
nagkamali ako sa nagawa ko sayo, at alam ko na masakit yun, kung nasaktan ka man. at muka namang hindi mo nafeel yun. pero incase lang, SORRY na din. Sincere yan.
pero teka, nagkamali ka din diba? wag mo sana isipin na sinisisi kita, pero kaya ko siguro yon ginawa (kung anu man yun) eh dahil din sa ginawa mo. malamang nakalimutan mo na yon. pero hindi ko yon makalimutan. isang linggo mo kong binalewala, tapos babalik ka? tapos okay na ulit tayo tas aalis ka? thanks. :) di ako galit. nageexplain lang ako. minsan ko lang toh gagawin. at sayo ko pa ginawa.
ayon. oo. mahal pala kita. di ko din alam yun. pero ayun siguro naramdaman ko. pero since, hindi naman NA ganun yung nafifeel mo, 2007 na ngayon at mag22008 na, hindi aman ako hangal para magpaka martyr sayo, dahil ikaw naman nauna. di kita hinanap pero dumating ka diba. haha! :) nakakatwa mang isipin nauna ka pala magkagusto sakin, dahil di naman talaga kita gusto. siguro nadevelop. totoo lahat ng sinasabi ko. sabi ko naman sayo, hindi ako sinungaling. :) haha.,
thanks kasi minahal mo pala (daw) ako. haha. dahil again HINDI MO SINABI YAN. at kung hindi ko din sinabi sayo oo, MAHAL (din) KITA. haha!
pero it's tooo late to let you know.
haha! :))
at late na din kase nung malaman ko yung chismackers (dahil di ko naman alam kung true yun)
anyhoo, kung may kasalanan man eh tayong dalawa din yun. basta.
anyway, hanggang dito nalang siguro yung explanation ko, dahil for sure, deadma lang toh sayo, baka di mo pa nga mabasa toh eeh? :)) hahaha!!
ingat!

at sa mga nagbasa nito na hindi naman para sainyo toh wla lang. HI! :) gusto ko lang iexpress yung nafifeel ko.
i just wanna let this all out of my chest. coz im like BLEEDING inside. i know i might not sound like i was bleeding. but i was like really HURTING. :)






Finally!
Been doodling stuffs here i my notepad.
in just a while, i'll go out. i'll go with my firneds in a party sobber. :)
Have i mentioned that i have already moved on. :) viola!! nice nice.
never thought that id do it better and quickly. as quick as 6months i think. :)
i thought i'll cry and cry over and over and over but i finally got over it.
4 more days to go and christmas will arrive.
i felt deeply numb though overjoyed. i am overwhelmed with my sudden change of heart.
i guess..
ive had had soo many crushes for the past few months but it seems that *j* sticked to it. :)) it's funny. cos we argue a lot. but i find him really really nice.
though sometimes his unfair and cold and selfich and drunk and all.
what matters is his plain. and true.
i have seen his true colors. and for a fact. i hate him for being sooo jhacko-ish..
he's not really idealistic..
but i feel him.
i feelo the need for him.
i could never last a day happily without getting him by. :|
hayy.
and to think, i feel awful without him. :(
sheeshh..
anyhoo, it's i think almost 7pm. i better go now. but im still waiting. waiting for someone..
yahahaha!!



BUT! a lot has changed. and now. im TOTALLY OVER EVERYTHING!
i finally got over it. and it was nice. i could feel the victory. the satisfaction and the acceptance. it's really nice.

im super OVER IT!!